This must be the meaning Of summer living Spending all my days and time Doing nothing There is no climax, There is no resolution There is no problem So there will be no solution Recieve, receive, receive more information Make your brain feel like it’s doing something I’ve been doing something, right here right now with you I hope you chop off my head in front of all of my friends Oh yeah I wish I was dead I said I wish I was dead The dark points in the sky, The floaters in my eyes, conspired, to make this night worthwhile This must mean I'm free It’s a sign from the gods All online making nothing more than educated guesses About how i live my life I guess it is about time That i got my shit together But i’ve got no support no system to help me get through the weather I guess I’ve always had my friends But I can’t really talk to them without Throwing up my words my thoughts come out like vomit I’m always told I'm low on empathy but really i think i just don’t think before i speak The floaters in my eyes The dark points in the sky I don't wanna know how i die And i know you’ve been waiting here for so damn long, But i will not wait for you, I will proceed i with my life But in the haze the fog i swear i saw you, Sitting on your tombstone, You were sitting there at night We were playing with fire But Knives don’t cut deeper than The words you say to me, And my feet are bruised from walking home, Walking in your shoes, And my feet are from walking home, Walking home in your shoes

The birthdays don't feel that fun anymore And the christmases were never the same Don’t you think that sometimes It'd be nice to change sometimes? I feint for no excuses, you’re in my arms and I’m feeling useless I am just waiting to be harmed Like the firework dances, a display of bright lights to make your eyes hurt from the sight Always growing, always extending Always reciprocating the pain Always falling through these window Oh I’m singing through these glass tables You wanna represent your mistakes You wanna make it seem like it’s fate I wanna be alive but I don’t wanna have a life The birthdays don't feel that fun anymore And the christmases were never the same Don’t you think that sometimes It'd be nice to change sometimes? I feint for no excuses, you’re in my arms and I’m feeling useless I am just waiting to be harmed I just need to get through this week Wouldn’t you like to be alone sometimes?, Wouldn’t you like to be alone sometimes?, Wouldn’t you like to be alone sometimes?, You like to be alone sometimes, Staying up all night wracking my brain for answers, Equations to solve this pain Wouldn’t you like to be alone sometimes?, Wouldn’t you like to be alone sometimes?, Wouldn't you like to be alone sometimes?, You like to be alone sometimes, Staying up all night wracking my brain for answers, Equations to solve this pain You like to be alone sometimes

So decide Between a fist fight and all these red skies The sky was dark like it was at night When the sun caught up I swear i caught it inside My room, theres people sitting straight outside My window, I’d smash them open but I know its not that simple I keep pushing hourglasses And the hour hand but it’s not that simple to understand And i know it’s not that simple, And i know it’s not that easy, You’re walking a line between not knowing your friends and what is gonna harm you when you’re dead, Now that we conserve all our energy inside, please open your windows and we’ll set them free I’m sure you you’re aware that it has gotten harder, And I’ve made myself scarce, Around all the spots you used to be, I wish we could remain in early 2018 But I know it’ll never be that simple, It’ll never be that easy Please stop taking so much, I don’t have enough, Please stop expecting I’m right, Cause i am so fucking wrong, Yeah I am so fucking numb, And i am getting deja vu, To another point with you, Please stop complimenting me, I’m begging you to be mean, Please stop expecting that I know, oh Please stop making me achieve, Please stop making me achieve We’re always turning around from this, Pressure from the back seat driver baby drive me insane tonight, We’re always turning around from this, Pressure from the back seat driver baby drive me insane tonight

i’d give u my jacket if i had the chance but i’ve fallen too late it’s out of my hands i wanted to tell you what i would do but now you’ve moved on and don’t have a clue how i feel about you if i had waited been a little more patient maybe i’d have you cause i’ve dug myself deep into a hole of thoughts cant remember if i held the shovel at all i’ve tripped and fallen i didn’t get to see what life could have been like with you and me i’d have texted you more, if i wasn’t so stupid but you’ve changed my contact god i feel stupid i wanted to call you for hours on end but now you call someone else and i’m just a friend oh but if i hadnt have wish all my life away i could tell you my thoughts and get you to stay i’ve tried and i’ve tried and i’ve tried to forget you but the memory lingers of me without you ooooh oooOooOh if i had said something i could tell you that i need you cause i’ve dug myself deep into a hole of thoughts cant remember if i held the shovel at all i’ve tripped and fallen i didn’t get to see what life could have been like with you and me

I’m in love with the people that we once were darling, Tear my body apart my body shakes and my heart knows, I’m the fucking asshole I am not reciting anything, But I was out at night, I’m in love with the person that you once were, No matter how hard I struggle, I have not managed to free myself from her grasp, It gets harder but in my heart of hearts I know, I was the one in charge of this failure Minor tragedies on an ultra personal scale, One to one events that i will never ask about and you will not tell, And I’ll say I am so lucky to have not experience them, I have friends and I have friends And i am sure that they have And the heater burns up And the coffee mugs are never enough I don’t wanna die in a fire, I wanna to retire, I wanna to live peacefully, But we said that we’d drank too much, Wanting to save the world, We can’t save ourselves, An X-ray of the brain, receipts and magazines I don’t wanna know what’s your latest catastrophe, We built up our ideals For a world that we don’t own, For a world that we don’t know, We talk about house fires and plane crashes, But what’s the point if we can’t even deal with our taxes Minor tragedies on an ultra personal scale, One to one events that i will never ask about and you will not tell, And I’ll say I am so lucky to have not experience them, But i have friends and I have friends And i am sure that they have, And I’ll say I am so lucky to have not experience them, But i have friends and I have friends And i am sure that they have, I read lines to make you feel something, I read lines to make you feel something, I know I’ll be ok but i still feel the pain, It’s not all that bad so why do I feel sad Just because there’s people with brain tumours That means I’m not allowed to have a headache?, My life is great and I don’t know what to do when I’m without, Without you, And I know Control, oh You can control, You can control your thoughts, It’s my peace, It is perfectly in tune, And I, I still haunt your coffin while you haunt my room The latest emo bands still hasn’t written a song about you Sometimes things happen and nobody bats an eye, The world keeps on spinning she says “I don’t wanna die”,

I want to be praised to develop my skills I am but a tissue box i needed to be used Stupidly rely upon that which gives you thrills Give me purpose in those words the lack of which makes you hurt I am not honest with my friends I shit talk them To get attention but I am waking up at 3pm and spending most my time inside I’ll sleep when the sun begins to rise I cant get this shit out of my eyes When I sit alone I don’t think I just know I act so fucking kind but I am so self absorbed Taking traits from those I deem better than me I admire what it takes but to feel loved I need to be told that It’s alright, that I am safe here Call me narcissistic I don’t care but it’s my fear That the picture I’ve built up of myself will collapse And underneath you’ll all discover im not that cool I just didn’t want you guys to see that Your lips in my teeth Anxious and erratic Everything I do is for appeal I’m automatically Saying I’m the best saying It’s alright, But Inside I know that I’m just a liar Set me on fire it wouldn’t make a difference when I’m already burning up I am not honest with my friends I shit talk them To get attention but I am waking up at 3pm and spending most my time inside I’ll sleep when the sun begins to rise I cant get this shit out of my eyes It just gets brighter outside No matter what is the time It just gets brighter outside I do not wanna die like this but I am just taking the piss on people who I do not talk to anymore I just learned another of my idols pathetically abandoned my I can’t handle being single but i get so upset when they can’t take what I give All the time call me nice and fuel my praise complex

Your teeth are chattering from the cold The demons you drank with have all gone home, And the heat, the ones that survived I would write it down but I can’t be bothered to try, I’m losing hope I’m all alone, And some are left but they’re chewing on bones, The presence of indecision in the air, I don’t want to act like I’m not scared, I sat alone In chartered flights I never did But now I confuse my left and right hand, Look back at the life I’ve had, And I smile because it’s never coming back, Just like an angel of death or the sequel to humanity, You’ve come back to life to rescue me, The cold will save us from the heat, And the devils that got out alive I hope you’re warming up our seats, On the grassy plane, At the edge of a field, At the edge of summer and the snow doesn’t yield, In your book corner, With your bean bags, Readings ways to survive a plane crash, And I heard him say before I left, I heard him say before I left, I heard him say before I left, The final part of hypothermia, Is feeling like your body is on fire, I was burning alive Just like the coffee mug In my eyesight, Reading many things at the time, And it’s all over your brown eyes, I wanna to know how to stay alive, I’ve never been the type to go into things unprepared, But if you’ll be my Christmas lights, Then I’ll be your Halloween scares, And I know it’s not your fault, I know it’s, no it’s not your fault, I know it’s, I know it’s not your fault, I know it’s not your fault, On the grassy plane, At the edge of a field, At the edge of summer and the snow doesn’t yield, In your book corner With your bean bags Reading ways to survive a plane crash, In your brick house, With your fire place, With your hot cocoa, And your magically normal way, To keep the hot air in, By a margin I will keep the cold air out, There’s movies based off this discovery, The feeling underneath and it covers me, Nerves begin to fail, Heart rate drops to 0 beats per minute, Just like this song, There’s movies based off this discovery, The feeling underneath and it covers me, I never said that we couldn’t last I put your voicemails on blast, The plastic warmed my heart With your fire place, And your warm air, And your good food, And the bomb scare, And the engines that never seem to work, And the feeling of turbulence I saw, I saw bodies huddled in the wingshafts, Smothered by metal to try to get it out, I saw bloodshot eyes as we stayed up at night, Always knowing the frost wouldn’t give us respite, I saw the hope drain from your eye, I saw your stomach impaled by ice I saw the stalagmites of my heart, Break off and shatter into tiny parts, And I saw humanity at its worst, My last words were oh how the heat hurts, Oh how the heat hurts, I saw men chew on snickers bars, Rationed, but at that point they were hard, More than the cold or the heat, the thing that killed us was our own humility But I still don’t feel free, And I’m singing out of key, But I still don’t feel free, No I still don’t, And for the rain that turns to snow, I wanna see it outside my car windows, I wanna see you count down from ten, When I left the house we were already dead

And I will not leave my room today, talk today, I refuse to conversate, You know these power chords that I play, They don’t really numb the pain, Apathetic and detached, Break yourself down be a martyr, For the people you won’t know, It’s for the play, it’s for the stage show, But I have had enough of that, Always acting like I’m going through the motions, Make yourself into a fire axe, And crack the wood that stops your emotions, I know we don’t really act like it But dear I love you too I dont want to, But i have to, The silence in between is what keeps us awake, Seventeen, no job, no friends I should’ve of grown out of this when i was 13, Struggling, no friends, No assessments, In handed, no perfection I was happy but then it caught up to me Expectations are so heavy now, To stay, to stay, i have to leave This place, This place, its not for me To stay, to stay, i have to leave This place, This place, its not for me So I left, I left, and left and all my friends abandoned me, They’re out pulling weeds like pulling roses, I made my nose into a knife, I said so raise your voice, I wanted to be dead, This love is a cancer a disease I always risked you loving me All this blood and love that my heart Pulling weeds like pulling roses All this blood and love the heart takes, And the nose forms into knife, Your life your soul is failing me, Your life your soul is failing me, I hope you’re happy for me, I hope you’re happy for me, I hope you’re happy for me, Happy for me, To stay, to stay, i have to leave, This place, This place, its not for me, To stay, to stay, i had to leave, This place, This place, its not for me, So you had it written down But it was never enough And my friend stole the car So the sea called his bluff But i will always imagine that summer, And our arms together, In the trees shadows, Lining the pavement with the light from the green and the ants in the grass What did you mean?, When you wrote it down, Were you trying to connect our hearts to, sing a song, sing along for when we are apart, So i will hold my hand out, for when i was there, So i will hope that we change key, I will hope you’re there for me, When i cant defend myself, when I can’t defend myself, But you’re my friend, so I’ll write it down just like you told me to do, I miss you mum i miss you dad, i miss it all not ending, But you’re my friend so I’ll write it down, just like you told me to do, I miss you dad i miss you mom, I miss it all not ending,

I am likely, To act unkindly, It’s not supposed to be, Think of you highly, But I’m sorry, It’s not supposed to be, Did i hurt you?, And did I ruin, Almost everything?, I didn’t want to, And never thought to, Complicate small things, I overthunk it, Took it for granted, I wanted it to stop, I was manic, In shock and panic, I wanted it to stop, I can’t move forward, Can’t erase the portrait, Out of my own mind, So I’m still haunted, But I can’t control it, It’s always my own mind, I’m hurting deeply, I’m always sleepy, But cannot get to rest, I got excited, And didn’t like it, Now I’m just upset,